Life and Death
Today was a day of life and death.
My Niece turned 1 today. I haven’t seen her in ages due to the relationship between her mother and my brother yet just knowing she’s out there is a nice feeling.
But today things also happened that reminded me that we are never guaranteed another tomorrow. I doesn’t seem right to go into all the details here but one of my neighbors died today. He was only 29 and got cancer 29 years old, that’s about two years older than I am (I’ll be 27 on the 28th). He was a good man.
I know people die all the time but when it’s close it messes with you, gets under your skin, makes you think. I realized two things today while I was thinking about this. That the thought of dying doesn’t scare me as much as the thought of what would happen to my mom if I should die, and that what I’m doing now isn’t really living. I know I’ve alluded to being lost before but I don’t think I realized until today how much I am.
I don’t know what I want my life to be but I know I don’t want it to be this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore. Something has to change, and maybe it’s me.
