Bitchfest Pt. 2
I wonder how badly I’ve screwed things up? It’s a pattern I think. I wasn’t drunk that night, I wasn’t even drinking. In fact as per usual I was just at home thinking. I just had to tell you. And there is a part of me that believes I got exactly the response I wanted. I don’t really know how I feel right now. I’m not hurt or angry or much of anything. In fact when I think of you, or the situation, I just feel empty.
As much as I wished you did and was relieved that you didn’t, I knew you didn’t love me. And I knew that even if you did you couldn’t have told me so. So I pushed things right over the edge and now I know.
You know what bothers me the most though? The arrogance. When you told me “you had a feeling I felt that way”. How could you have had a feeling when I didn’t even know for sure? So to Hell with it all. If I’m to be alone then so be it. It’s all I’ve ever been.
