"Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes
- That feeling that time is endless and therefore, expendable. As you get older, time collapses in on itself and starts rushing toward you, like an explosion and its billowing smoke-filled aftermath. When you are young, squandering time is blissfully no big deal, so it comes as a shock when you grow up and are seized by a frantic sense of purpose or lacking that, the paralysis of crushing guilt. The young have the luxury of boredom, which should be indulged by whining and frittering.
- Physical recklessness. In other words, blatant disregard for life and limb. Jump from high places, slide down banisters, balance on the edge of that fountain. Sure, you may fall, but your joints are supple, and when you’re young, lacerations heal quickly. Breaking your arm at age 11, jumping off the garage roof on a dare, may be painful in the short term but will get you lots of attention, a cast signed by friends and family, plus it’s a cool story you will never tire of telling. Breaking your hip at age 78 on a smear of butter in front of the dairy case at the grocery store is just sad.
- Falling into unrequited love. Don’t hold back. Throw yourself into a disconsolate heap upon the altar of unreciprocated love. Sigh. Howl. Feel so wretched that the object of your affection will never, ever be yours that you believe you might actually die of a broken heart. Within reason, you can be stalkerish. When you get older this level of obsession would be considered creepy and possibly illegal, but when you are young, such melodrama is known simply as adolescence.
- Disregard for housekeeping niceties. Cleanliness and comfort are things you will annoy yourself with when you are older. For now, you should be oblivious to dust and mildew. This is life, after all, not a Holiday Inn, and it’s supposed to be messy. You have a decade at least before you start inspecting the glass for smudges and in doing so determine it is half-full. Don’t rush it. You want to put off this depressing epiphany as long as you can.
- Willful over-indulgence. It’s never a good idea to eat an entire sheet cake meant to serve 48 with your sister, but we did and we still talk about it! The same could be said about drinking five vodka tonics, or staying up talking all night at a sleepover. Throw yourself into that wicked stomachache or hangover or case of sleep deprivation with gusto, and bear it like a young person, as a badge of honor, not like an old fogey, who considers suffering penance.
Oh my God you have no idea how much I really hope this was just Matthew……
Holy places are dark places. It is life and strength, not knowledge and words, that we get in them. Holy wisdom is not clear and thin like water, but thick and dark like blood.
ahahhahaha what the fuck is wrong here is the siren damaged or something. I’ve heard this exact siren before but never all creepy like this
actually the reason the siren sounds like that is because it’s echoing through the tall buildings of downtown chicago!
this actually sounds more like earthbound cave music than silent hill
FACT OF THE DAY: zebras’ stripes are not always black and white. sometimes they are black and orange
this is a giraffe
dogs are amazing
Especially dogs with these orange and purple spots
Sir Nicholas Winton is a humanitarian who organized a rescue operation that saved the lives of 669 Jewish Czechoslovakia children from Nazi death camps, and brought them to the safety of Great Britain between the years 1938-1939.
After the war, his efforts remained unknown. But in 1988, Winton’s wife Grete found the scrapbook from 1939 with the complete list of children’s names and photos. Sir Nicholas Winton is sitting in an audience of Jewish Czechoslovakian people who he saved 50 years before.I cried a little guys…